Grease Monkey Scripts: Adult jokes

Showing posts with label Adult jokes. Show all posts

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Randi lagti hai

Ek din ek larki bolny wala tota kharidny gaee
Usne toty se pocha
Me tumhen k c lagti hon
“Randi lagti ho”
tota bola
Dukandar ne ghusy me usko pani me dubaya
or pocha
“gali dega?”
Tota bola
“Ab nahi donga”
Larki ne phir pocha
“Agar mery ghar 1 mard aye to tum kya sochogy?”
“Pati”
Aur agar 2 mard ayen?
“Pati or devar”
Or agar 3 mard ayen?
“Pati devar or bhai”
Or agar 4 mard ayen?
Tota ghusy me dukandar se “Mujhe dubade mene pehle hi kaha tha behen chod randi lagti he”

Chodna hai ya…

1 admi larki chodne gya
usne larki ko nanga kia & ulta jhuka kr bola tmhari chot pr 1 b bal nai hay Q?

Lrki:
Bhosri k chodne aya hy ya “KANGI” krne hai

Baccha ka ticket

Conductor: Baccha ka ticket

Rajasthani lady: iko bi lagego k? Yo to abhi BOBO chuse hai

Conductor: BOBO to iko baap bhi chuse hai ..tu uke bhi free me bithau ka

Plan changed

Ek ladki Doctor k pass gayi
Mary phuddi main makhi gus gaye hai
Doctor ny kaha k lund main shahed laga k undar dalonga makhi chipak k bahar ajaye gi
Doctor lund andar dal k zor zor sy jhatky marny lagta hai
Ladki: kya kr rahy ho
Doctor: Plan badal gaya hai makhi ko andar hi maronga.

Big Money

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He says,"What are you doing?" She answers, "I`m moving to Las Vegas. I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free!" Later that night on her way out the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase. When she asks him where he`s going, he replies... "I`m going to Vegas too. I want to see you live on $800 a year!"

Big Money

Who was that???

Burford comes home from work and his wife is in the kitchen on all fours, wearing nothing but her bathrobe, scrubbing the kitchen floor. He comes up behind her, lifts up her robe, fucks her fast and hard doggie-style, and then smacks her in the head. "She screams, "Burford! I let you do something so nice like that! What`d you hit me for?" He says, "For not looking to see who it was!"

Sex Mainiac

Old farmer comes running across field screaming. Farmers wife was at kitchen window wondering what the hell was going on. He rushes in house and says "Susan get in bed, I got a hard on" She slowly gets undressed and gets in bed. He looses the hard on. He gives her a lecture "next time I come screaming you should be in ready in bed!" Two months later here he comes screaming across field. She sighs and gets in bed. He rushes in and says "Susan, you damn sex maniac, get out of bed---the barns on fire"

Honeymoon Night

A young couple was married, and celebrated their first night together, doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, all night long. Morning comes and the groom goes into the bathroom but finds no towel when he emerges from the shower. He asks the bride to please bring one from the bedroom. When she gets to the bathroom door, he opened the door, exposing his body for the first time to his bride where she sees all of him well. Her eyes went up and down and at about midway, they stopped and stared, and she asked shyly, "What's THAT?", pointing to a small part of his anatomy. He, also being shy, thought for a minute and then said, "Well, that's what we had so much fun with last night." And she, in amazement asked, "Is that all we have left?"

Happy Couple

A groom passes down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar and the best man notices that the groom has the biggest, brightest smile on his face. The best man says, "Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up - you look so excited." The groom replies, "I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me." The bride comes walking down the aisle and she, too, has the biggest, brightest smile on her face. The maid of honor notices this and says, "Hey, girlfriend, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up, you look so excited." The bride replies, "I have just given the last blow job of my entire life!"

Birds and Bees

“Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewellry, my dear. Jewellry.”

taste your own medicine

A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?" The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse!" The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It fucking hurts doesn't it!"

advt. of British Airways

Mother asks daughter, 'How is married life?' Daughter says with shyness, 'Like the advt. of British Airways.' Mother reads the advertisement and shocked, its 'Seven days a week, twice a day, both ways.'

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Monday, December 20, 2010

Infolinks In Text Ads

Pages